forgiveness often does more for the forgiver

originally published at modern molly mormon

Is it required of me to truly forgive someone who has altered my life so drastically?

In the January 1974 Ensign, Elder Marion D. Hanks said the following.

"What is our response when we are offended misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? Do we resent, become bitter, and hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem if we can, forgive and rid ourselves of the burden?"

"The nature of our response to such situation smay well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and eternally."

Forgiveness can be one of the hardest steps that we have to take as victims of abuse. It is often a long process, which requires a lot of prayer and fasting. Often it seems unfair that the Lord would require us to forgive when we have been wronged. However, if we will remember everything our Father in HEaven requires of us is for our own good, we will begin to understand that forgiveness is really for us, the wounded ones.

Boyd K. Packer said it like this.

"This is my counsel to you. If you have festering sores, a grudge, some bitterness, disappointment, or jealousy, get hold of yourself. You may not be able to control things out there with others but you can control things here, inside of you. It will then be as though a cloudy, dirty film has been erased from the world around you' and though the problem may remain, the sun will come out. The beam will have been lifted from your eyes. There will come a peace that surpasseth understanding." (Ensign, November 1977)

And H. Burke Peterson summed it all up very well when he counseled,
"Forgiveness of others for wrongs, imaginary or real, often does more for the forgiver than for the forgiven." (Ensign, November 1983)

Forgiveness is something I am still working on. I still harbor some very negative feelings toward my abuser. However, I know the importance of forgiveness. And although it may take many more years, I will continue to work toward being able to truly forgive him for what he has done to me.